Rather, it’s about what relationship he has with his gender. By that I mean, too, what is the relationship and relationship with peers and women, and what is the image of a man?
Herbert Grönemeyer provided an approach that could be male in 1984 with his song “When is man a man?” This reflects the classic men’s images from the 1960s and 70s: A real guy – so a real man – is for it He is responsible for caring for his family by going to work and bringing home money, and he knows not only the role of a provider, but also how to solve problems, not to complain but to tackle, and because the man works hard to earn the money To earn the family, he has a right to rest at home or even a neat “on it” to make. A real guy can handle a lot of alcohol. And of course he always feels like sex and always can! Emotions show – and that includes tears, being vulnerable, wanting to feel secure or talking about themselves – that did not fit into the male image for many years.
Since the 1980s, the male image has changed. Ina Deter put it in a nutshell with her song “New Men Needs the Country.” For some decades, a man, for example, is expected to fulfill his fatherly duties and to be able to express and allow feelings. The women, who also contribute to the family income and want to be equal, play a large part in this development, many men do not join in. How much easier was it for them when the male role was still clearly defined That men have a problem with their masculinity, what obligations do they have to fulfill, and what does the social and cultural change mean for them? Especially little boys are looking for role models, which can be found in movies like “The Fast and the Furious But even here you can see a change in the hero roles. The originally tough guys show feelings – and that’s just as well!
Interview (“ADAM HAS ANGST”) by Florian Gussgen and Nina Poelchau from 2018 with Prof.
Mr. Sommer, fifty years ago began the sexual revolution. At that time was the battle cry “who twice with the same pennen, already belongs to the Establishment”. What about 2018 with the sexual freedom of men?
The fact that you try out with several partners is normal today. But, let’s just say it provocatively: The real revolution for men today is to have sex at all.
For heaven’s sake.
The drive of the men in the industrial nations is in the cellar, and that is the lifestyle that prosperity brings with it. Many are too fat, suffer from diabetes or cardiovascular problems. Add to this the growing stress in the head. When the cortisol level is chronically elevated, the libido decreases. While young men had sex almost every single day 30 years ago and older men twice or three times a week, intercourse is now an exception for many.
What is the problem?
It is much more demanding. At work as well as in the family. Much has accelerated extremely. It is difficult for most men to pay attention to their health – and to switch off. Adam is afraid, this formula can bring it.
And the anxious Adam then has erection problems.
That’s how it often works out, yes.
This is scratching the ego – and it puts a strain on a relationship.
It’s not just about sex. The penis also has a warning function. If his blood vessels are no longer well supplied, this may be an indication of an impending heart attack, for example.
For the obvious problem, however, there has been a miracle cure for almost exactly 20 years: Viagra.
The discovery of PDE-5 inhibitors like Viagra represents immense progress. Before, our medical options were limited. In principle, men could only use a swelling body implant in the penis or they had to be injected.
After fun and sensuality that does not sound.
Both were quite possible with the techniques of the time. But you had to take some pain and get used to it. Viagra makes it a lot easier.
And what about women?
It depends. In my practice I have women who accompany their men and say: It would be nice if my husband had an erection again. But there are also couples in which both have actually completed sex. In my opinion, that’s fine. They just do other things together: hiking, going to the movies, I do not know. When such a couple comes to me, the woman wants to make sure first of all that her husband is not a heart attack candidate – and then calm down with him to go home. However, I experience again and again that the man, when she is already out the door, asks in confidence for a tablet.
But that creates a problem, right?
If he swallows the drug, it may be that the balance in the relationship is severely disturbed: he suddenly wants sex again. By the way, many women instinctively reject Potency because they think: The man has an erection, no matter what female being is in front of him. I always say that the remedy only reinforces what is there. A sexual appeal, the desire for intimacy is necessary.
For younger people Viagra is sometimes a party accessory: It is thrown in, so it’s even better on the weekends.
Everyone should do that as they please. But you have to know that there are risks too. How high these risks are, the doctor checks. And he also warns the patient before he prescribes the remedy.
In the process, sexual enhancers like Viagra are offered everywhere on the internet.
Most of these pills are counterfeit and contaminated with heavy metals.
This can be dangerous for your health. Sometimes the dosage is so high that heart problems threaten to follow a permanent erection and that often becomes very painful after two, three hours. You have to get to the emergency room as soon as possible. Embarrassing. I can only say: Stay away. It is better to go to the doctor.
There is another variety of products that are often recommended to help tired men: testosterone supplements.
Average testosterone levels have been worrying in recent years. It is normal for the level to drop steadily from about 35 downwards due to age, and the erections in the more mature semesters are not so firm and stable anymore. But what we experience today has nothing to do with the natural aging process. Even young men have too little testosterone in their blood.
Are we experiencing a testosterone crisis?
I would not say that. That’s too simple. Testosterone is just one building block in the microstructure. But in fact, testosterone is the king’s hormone for me as well.
Who gets it from you?
Testosterone can be a useful start-up aid. I like to prescribe it temporarily, so that the men get back on their feet …
… and then boost your own testosterone production again?
You need some momentum to change your habits. It’s all about exercise, healthy eating and relaxation. Actually no rocket science. And the attitude needs to change. One of my patients was a model. Marathon runners. He was terribly fit. He still had erectile dysfunction. Because everything was challenging for him, fight. If he ran around the Alster, it was just that nobody could overtake him. Recreational activity that creates new stress. That does not help then. I taught him to walk slowly. He needed a good year to make his inner peace, sometimes even outdated. Often it’s about mental problems.
To the right attitude?
The brain is the most important organ we have. I am actually a somatiker, always orientate myself by the body. But with the psyche you can influence so much. Sometimes it helps to put yourself regularly in victory pose in front of the mirror.
Victory pose? Show me that.
Tear your arms up. Like after an Olympic victory.
Of course that does not always help. But do that. Stand in front of the mirror at home, practice the pose. And then you go to work with the feeling, not with hanging shoulders, not small. But big. I recommend that to the men for their psyche. And then we make a plan. Eat healthy: many cucumbers, zucchini and melons – which contain citrulline. That’s good for blood flow towards the penis. Cruciferous vegetables such as broccoli: very healthy. And also oatmeal can have positive effects in the diet. In addition: every day something to move, preferably outside.
Does one really have to go to a professor to be recommended?
Many men are only open to something when they have erectile problems and are sitting insecure in front of me. They suddenly realize that all that I am constantly reading concerns myself.
Which sport do you recommend?
Endurance sports. To run. Fascia training.
What are you doing yourself? You look pretty fit.
Until a few years ago, I was jogging to the clinic every morning at five-thirty, almost ten kilometers. Now I live next door and go to the gym. On vacation then always outdoor sports. And I’m a big fan of gymnastics. Yoga. Something like that.
Gymnastics is not exactly what a man is hoping for as a tip from you, right?
I have given up recommending yoga to men. Da beckon. I recommend fascia training instead. That’s in and does not sound like esoteric girlie stuff. By the way, yoga is an excellent fascia training, but what the hell.
With a health plan and testosterone as a starting aid, will exhausted men feel better soon?
You also have to include the feelings. Men still find it difficult to talk about it.
Amazing. Women love men who talk about feelings.
Most of the men I meet do not want to show weakness. At work, with her wife, with her pals, with the children.
But do you trust them how they really are?
In the preliminary talk, they are very reserved with it. But then they fill in a detailed questionnaire. It asks for depressive moods and, for example, whether someone has the feeling that they are at the height of their lives. I’m always amazed: There’s someone sitting in front of me, who comes over as a whole guy – and he feels depressed, is full of concern, not enough ….
… and sometimes to disappoint his wife because he can not father a child?
I am a reproductive medicine. Many childless couples seek my advice. Very often, the man is “to blame”: The average number of sperm has fallen in the past decades, almost half. The quality has also deteriorated dramatically. Even in young men, sometimes only 5 to 15 percent of sperm can make it to the ovum, the rest is on the way flimsy on the go. That, too, has a lot to do with lifestyle. Smoking, fast food, belly fat – unfavorable. For men, it is extremely painful to realize that it is up to them if their wife does not get pregnant. Many people can not believe that at first. But after the first shock, that’s at least as powerful a stimulus as an erectile dysfunction, finally pay attention to your health.